My Rants:

Before you read. . .

i am a very angry person (as said literally everywhere). althougth i am a happy person on the outside, i feel like i have so much hidden anger inside my heart that recently, has been feeling like its all going to spill out.

People

1.23.25 - omg. where do i start??? sometimes people be pissing me the FUCK off. like seriously. i guess im really not one to judge but come on. strangers making fun of me when they dont even know me the FUCK. ive been called many a names that its not even funny. like i already fucking know that shit. ive been told i look like a fish, that i look like im from the croods. (which like OK?) i actually like the croods lol. ive been told i look like sid.
i just want to feel pretty sometimes. i know that it all starts with a good attitude but i feel like i need to be a bitch 100% of the time. like i dont even know why. when i go out i smile at others but then i think like.. i fucking hate you. why?? idk. my whole family has anger issues, and ive got my mothers temper definetly. my whole life feel like it stems of of hate for others. i hate me too.

Me

1.23.35 - I guess that its only reasonable to talk about how much i fucking hate myself. i feel like sometimes i dont deserve to rant about this shit, because i dont have a horrible life, i promise. but since this is my website, for once i have a chance to just spill everything from my insides. sometimes when im angry, or i feel it coming, i feel like ripping my fucking face off. i feel like the anger fills my chest and im about to explode. i feel like a fucking bomb. i used to be a very calm person. i used to deticate my life to become more religious and trust in god but i can feel myself faltering now more then ever. how am i supposed to be a good person when my insided feel like their turning against me???
i hope god can forgive me for being so horrible. im fucking sorry. im sorry im a disgrace and i cant be grateful im even alive at this point. i feel like im pathetic. i wake up, code, work, then code, then sleep, and over and over again. its a fucking cycle. and its not like i hate coding, i do it because i love it and im passionate. but i have no fucking depth in my life. i only started working just so i can get off the fucking bed for a while so i dont rot into my own sheets.

My Family

Society